Nov. 6, 2011 - Two of cups

I sit and shuffle the cards, as I do so I say these things:

"What am I to focus on today, what is my guiding principle, what force will guide me, where should my energies lie all day today?"

I have shuffled the cards, 9 times through, thoroughly as I always do. My mind flitters to the upcoming events of the day which may involve political and legal implications, but as it does I cannot help but to think, "I really don't want to shift gears, I simply want to feel the love of my boyfriend." 

Astonishingly,  while thinking some card related to the Hermit or Justice will show up, what do I draw?

Again, the Two of Cups

Well, regardless of any guiding universal spirit or conscious being directing the cards and regardless of any skepticism or whatever, every card I draw has a purpose and always seems very much in tune with me. I can't help feeling a strong bond with my man. I keep waiting for the ground to fall out beneath me, but it never does. No matter what I do, he loves me. I feel the same about him. I always want to support him, and not just support him, but be right there in the mud with him. I never ever want to let him down. But, when I do....he is right there, still loving me and still fighting (whatever fight) with me. We are in the mud together and I couldn't be happier. I left a life of comfort and stability. I left a life where I wasn't explosively rich, but I always had hundreds to a few thousand dollars at my disposal. If I wanted something, I bought it. I spent thousands at Christmas time (which was a holiday that meant nothing to me except getting to spend lots of money). I left that to live day by day each moment wondering if we might lose a car or our home, wondering if we will have enough food or when the electric might get shut off. I live in debt where there was little before. In that previous life I was miserable. Now, I'm blissfully happy in love. And, yes the cynic in me says, well It can't last forever. But, the love and safety I feel here on the fringe of loss is incomparable to anything I can fathom. And, so I tell that cynic voice, "Fine, maybe everything will fall apart someday, but for now I am going to relax, I am going to allow myself to be happy for once, I am going to lie in a warm watery place (haha cups reference) floating heavily (get that one) in a trance of love. (ooooohhh how very silly you are, how ridiculous you sound, silly silly girl) Yep, and for now I'm fine with that and I love it.