This was a simple draw to find something to focus on for the day.
Two of Cups
This card is often considered one of the "lovers" cards. Clearly, that is evident in the man and woman pictured here as well as the emotional sway evidenced by water which is an inherent feature of cups. There is, of course, more than simple relationship bonding involved here. This particular deck does provide for more than a man - woman relationship as the man presented is somewhat androgynous in appearance. Yet, the masculine features are still presented. The concept of Yin Yang is highlighted as are the ideas of duality, partnership and relationship. So much more is being left out of many translations which elude to business pairings, simple friendships, etc.
However, those things aren't of my primary concern today. When they are I will focus on them. I feel that today's draw of the 2 of cups is indeed speaking to my personal relationship with my man. We have a loving give and give more type of relationship, I feel he's always giving and I'm always willing to receive. I guess I give him something or he wouldn't stick around. There are a dozen different ideas and lessons to work with on this card, but for me, for today, I will focus on nurturing our mutual loving bond and respect. The two in the card are looking directly at each other, meeting one another on equal footing. I will focus on meeting my man as equally as possible in all things and when I am weak, he picks up the slack. When he needs me, I will be there for him just as well.
As a follow up , I'm writing this the next day and I must say that I feel so much in love. I have been married before, but was never there for actual love. This man has rescued me. He is perfect in every way. This is not coming from blinders, but truth. My conception of perfection is probably different from that of most other people's idea of it. The common social thread for those who want to stop aspiring to improve hinges on the fact that in reality, "Nobody is perfect." And, with that same thought in mind, I can say he is my idea of perfection. He looks at me with love, sometimes confusion and frustration, but always with love. When I act stupid, he still loves me. When I am mean, he still loves me. I hurt him with my words. I know. It comes from a place of self hatred really. It comes from mistrust as I've been treated badly in the past. Yes, the past should stay in the past, however at the same time it's made me who I am. The bitch who tormented me through school because her boyfriend liked me - she is still a part of me. The men who raped me - they are still part of me. The husband who didn't care that I was raped while he was off at boot camp, oh and I was 8 months pregnant - yeah that jerk is still part of me. The husband who didn't touch me or even talk to me on an intimate level for 6 years - is still a part of me. I wish they weren't. But, I find it hard to trust anyone, ever. I'm cynical, sarcastic and when I assume that I'm going to be hurt the defenses kick in and one of two things happens. Either, I hurt myself by reminding me and others that I'm fat, stupid, ugly and undeserving of love or even life. This turns into thoughts of wishing I was dead and so on. Or, I pull away and make wrong accusations. I assume I'm being lied to again as I have so many times in the past. I assume, since I'm not good enough, that he wants someone else. I mean why wouldn't he. All this circles back to the mean things I say. I make accusations with nothing to back them up. He certainly gets defensive and upset, as he should. And, even though I go to hide in the bedroom, or if we are on the phone I simply hang up, he calls back. He keeps coming to me and showing me his love. I know I don't deserve that. He is perfection. His beautiful eyes hold me captivated, his voice brings me back from crazyland, his arms make me safe. He is grumpy as hell in the mornings, he doesn't always hear me (and why should he sometimes I whisper) he gets frustrated with me. He is perfection.
I'm writing this before I draw a card for today. I am so filled with love and sometimes I get a sense of happiness, nothing but pure and simply happiness to the point where I can't stop smiling. I feel warm and gooey, and safe and most important I feel loved.
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